


One Week

by Townycod13



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, sp k2 week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-15 08:07:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15408654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Townycod13/pseuds/Townycod13
Summary: It's been one week since you looked at me, cocked your head to the side and said you're sorry.The Broflovski family moves to town when their oldest son is in high school. Shenanigans ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I GOT REALLY PUMPED FOR ALL THE MULTICHAP K2 WEEK STUFF AND I WANTED TO CONTRIBUTE AS WELL IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THIS SILLINESS

A family from New Jersey moved to town. It wasn’t an event of much note but the family had two sons and one of them had a way of making a first impression.

Kenny had exactly three things decided when he first laid his eyes on Kyle Broflovski.

One, the guy needs to take a chill pill. Punching Cartman wasn’t really known for making the dude stop, ask Testaburger.

Two, the guy was  _ loud _ . No, his guttural cry of rage put a shame to loud and went straight to the category of ear splitting.

Three, that was one fine ass. Bebe, from her position next him, gave a low whistle and voiced just that.

Knowing these three things was probably what spurred him first so quickly.

Within the first day, he had asked Kyle for his number no less than five times.

The first pretty immediately after the incident, hollering from the crowd of gawking students and given courage by Bebe’s mischievous grins and nudges.

“Hey, Kyle-B! Can I get those digits?”

He was promptly ignored, Kyle made away in a huff. It was entirely positive that he hadn’t heard the request though, so Kenny pulled at the strings of his parka and allowed Bebe’s comforting shoulder pat to assist his unease.

“Psst, i need help with this problem. The teacher doesn’t make any sense, he keeps saying the answer 5 but I know it’s your number.”

The second was in math class and Kenny couldn’t resist. It was pure luck that he was in the same class and sitting close enough that a whisper could reach? It was too much. He had no choice. He had to give it another try. Kyle shot him a look, somewhere between confused and annoyed before returning to his notes. Kenny let this roll off his shoulders too, guy might just be real serious about class time.

When he caught sight of the boy shoulder to shoulder with the Marsh boy in the cafeteria, Kenny knew it was an opportunity. He wrapped a friendly arm over Stan’s shoulder and leaned over to look at Kyle’s eyes.

Oh.

They were some damn pretty eyes, what the fuck.

He continued anyway.

“ _ Dude _ , you have to hear my new ringtone! Quick, shoot me a text!”

Kyle rolled his eyes and tugged Stan away, not even sparing a word for the boy he was leaving in the dust.

Kenny had to admit that even he couldn’t ignore this was a clear sign that Kyle wasn’t interested. He spent the entirety of lunch letting Bebe braid small locks of hair while Wendy and Red were less than comforting. He was pouting. He didn’t want to pout but he was.

And then he decided to give it just one more shot, just in case. Because there was Kyle with a free period and it was  _ his _ free period too and they could totally hang out and it would be  _ awesome _ . Kenny plopped on the bench next to the reading boy.

“Okay, but how can you call me for my booty if we don’t exchange info?”

Kyle, who had apparently been drinking something, snorted it all over his very nice book. Kenny stood, hands raised in defense and memory of the Cartman debacle still fresh on his mind. He excused himself quickly, barely even squeaking out an apology over the book before he retreated to spend the rest of the break sitting in a bathroom stall hating himself.

His last attempt had none of his earlier heart or energy, he was leaving school at the same time and Bebe was chatting with Butters as they walked, and it was just easier to be brave with those two at his side.

“Holyshit, Broflovski! I lost my phone number, can I have yours?”

Kyle  _ whirled _ , there was no better way to describe it and Kenny saw that Stan, who had been nearby, took a visual step back.

“ _ Look _ , I don’t know what kind of weird game you’re playing but I’m not interested in being your plaything! I don’t like these sorts of jokes and if you don’t cut it the fuck out, I’m going to make you!”

Kenny, flinching back under the force of Kyle The Loud, and heart thudding with fear and anxiety, dared to look into the flashing eyes of the beast to express his confusion.

“...but I’m not playing a game?”

Kyle  _ flared _ with agitation, “Then why do you keep asking for my phone number?!”

Tugging at his drawstrings wasn’t helping and even Bebe’s supportive hand on his lower back wasn’t helping and Butters was giving him a terribly sympathetic look and that definitely wasn’t helping.

He felt like he was taking a test and there was only one correct answer but it wasn’t a multiple choice question and he wasn’t even taking the class. He tried the truth in one vain attempt, hoping against hope it didn’t earn him a fist to the face.

“Because I want your phone number?”

Kyle paused, blinking owlishly and briefly tearing his attention away to glance at Stan, who shrugged and looked back at Kenny, “Is that all?”

“Yeah?” Kenny was under the impression that was all he wanted. At least, he thought that was it, or was it another answer he didn’t know? Test anxiety ate away at the corners of his sense.

“Oh.” Kyle said, visibly deflating and Kenny let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, “I--um, i’m sorry I yelled at you. I--” Kyle’s face turned an interesting shade of red and Kenny rather liked the color, “I’ve got to go.”

Dragging a startled Stan away and retreating from the school with great speed, Bebe and Kenny shared a whistle.

“That is a  _ steller _ butt.”

Butters rolled his eyes at them with an admonishing, “Fellas…”


	2. Chapter 2

The next day was less successful, if that was possible.

It didn’t help that there was a new trend that had taken hold of the student body, a sweeping force that scarves in summer were just the  _ cutest _ and  _ coolest _ thing ever.

Kenny had no issue with the movement. He rather liked his beaten old red scarf and this was a good excuse to give it a wearing. A nice day out for the scarves.

And then there was the object of his attention glaring at every scarf and declaring the entire student body sheeps for following this trend. Stan, clad in a charming blue scarf, insisted that Kyle just didn’t get it.

None of this was actually said  _ to _ Kenny but he hadn’t been kidding about Kyle being a very loud boy. He wished Bebe was nearby so he could comment on how entertaining it would be if Kyle was loud in  _ all _ aspects of life.

Bebe was too busy showing off her absolutely stylish pink scarf to the world at large, it was everything a scarf should be. Cute, a soft looking fabric, and with an intricate little design on the ends.

It made Kenny tug at his own scarf a bit self consciously, wondering if perhaps he could do something to spruce it up if this current fad lasted more than just a few hours. There was never any telling in South Park and Kenny was happy to go along with whatever so long as it wasn’t inherently dangerous.

There was someone directly in front of him and Kenny looked up to apologize for almost bumping into the guy.

Oh.

Kenny froze, Kyle froze, the hall froze, Kenny hadn’t meant to walk straight up to him, he’d been too lost in his own thought. Shit, he didn’t have Bebe or Butters to encourage him right now.

Kenny’s eyes darted down to the boys scarf-less neck, at a loss for pick up lines when caught unawares, he tried valiantly regardless, “Nice… neck.”

Kyle’s nose scrunched up and that couldn’t be a good sign. It definitely wasn’t a good sign with Stan standing just behind him with a hand over his nose.

“Your scarf is stupid.” Kyle said, caught himself, looked just a touch panicked, “I mean it’s stupid to follow this fad.” his face spelled out that he understood the implications of this statement too, “You’d look better without the damn scarf.”

That was apparently all the twenty feet of terrible Kyle was able to dig before Stan was physically dragging him away and Kenny was left gaping at the Kyle sized hole in the hall. He wasn’t even sure he felt insulted, it was just too direct and sudden, and reeked of ridiculous.

Kyle and Stan were long out of sight before it all really caught up and Kenny touched his scarf self consciously, a small frown matching the shard of discontent that lodged itself in his heart. “I like my scarf.” he muttered, knowing that no one nearby could decipher his muffle and turned on his heel.

Well, fine. So what if Kyle had a fine ass and a refreshing attitude? He was also rude. Kenny didn’t need to deal with more rude, he already had to deal with Cartman on a regular basis.

And so what if the fad was stupid? It was  _ fun _ . Kenny’s steps grew more determined with the indignation building up inside him, just because Jersey boy was too busy having a stick up his ass to know what the word even  _ meant _ didn’t mean Kenny was going to stop having harmless fun!

And you know what else was fun? Asking cute boys for their numbers! Using cheesy pick up lines! Living life to it's fullest, damnit!

Kenny whirled, jogging to catch up to the departed figures of Kyle and Stan. He didn’t have to travel far, they were hidden in a nook next to a vending machine, Kyle had a frustrated hand in his hair and Stan was pinching his nose but Kenny wasn’t gonna let any of that stop him.

“Hey!” Kenny’s cheeks puffed with effort and he felt every anxiety pushed to the wayside as two startled pairs of eyes looked his way, matching expressions of shock and confusion, “You’re pretty and I’m cute! Together, we’d be pretty cute!”

Maybe he said it two aggressively and maybe he actually huffed before stomping away. And maybe his face was burning over how horrifically awkward that had been and oh god, that was the loudest he had spoken in  _ ages _ .

He needed to find Bebe now and get a platonic big booby hug. Big booby hugs solved all problems in life. Especially the ones where he made incredibly dumb impulsive decisions on the go in a short-lived rebellion against his sort-of crush.

Kenny dodged all signs of redheads for the rest of the day, using Bebe’s adorable pink scarf as a shield and Wendy’s ingenious tactical planning to avoid his classes. They were good friends. They didn’t even ask him why, they just helped him out like true bro’s.

He was going to have to rethink this entire ‘ask out the hot redhead with the primo butt’ plan if it was going to involve him doing such foolish foolishness.


	3. Chapter 3

School shouldn’t be quite this trying. Kenny’s eyes widened to the size of saucers at the sight that was presented to him first thing in the morning.

There was Kyle and Stan, Kenny spared a thought for how quick they became friends, standing in front of the school and looking for all the world like they were waiting impatiently for someone or something.

It wasn’t hard to mystery what they were looking for when Stan caught sight of him and tapped Kyle’s shoulder urgently.

Kenny tugged at his scarf. He didn’t know if he regretted wearing it again today or not. On one hand, it was a statement that the rude Jersey boy didn’t get to dictate his tastes but it was also exactly what he just thought.

A direct opposition to someone. A defiance. Kenny wasn’t the sort to be terribly defiant. He liked mellow defiance best, it got you stuck in the office less and also it didn’t tend to be dangerous.

And he still didn’t quite want to own up to yesterday.

Kyle wasted very little time stomping over and Kenny considered running away.

Mulled it over in fact, which direction he’d take, how he’d lose the newbie to town, which back entrance he’d use to make into the school without risking the front entrance, and the quickest route to make it so he wasn’t late to first period.

After the considerations had concluded, Kenny decided it was a very good plan and turned tail with Kyle only a yard or so away.

“What th--HEY, wait!”

Yep, Kenny was not gonna wait now. Not if he was paid a significant sum of money. Okay, he’d totally wait for money but that wasn’t on the table right now so as it was, he was a leaf on the wind--

He jerked to a sudden halt, only having barely rounded his first corner, neck straining under the sudden pressure and for the first time he saw what the fuss about scarves was.

Someone could grab onto it.

Kyle’s voice was a touch out of breath, “I just want to tal--”

Kenny untangled his scarf, ducking forward and continuing his fleeing.

Kenny had created something of an art form when it came to making escapes. He’d been in a great many life and death situations and the important thing he’d noted was that stopping for people that said things like ‘wait’ was ill-conceived.

He’d also learned that all clothes could be shed at high speed with enough motivation. If needed, he could be down to his skivvies in a matter of seconds.

Luckily it was only the scarf that he left in the sputtering boys hand as he finished his expert escape plan.

Except this left him with a new problem.

Even after he’d escaped and plopped down on his chair, just before the bell as planned, he was forced to contemplate it.

He’d just run away at full speed from the boy he had been  _ trying _ to seduce.

Shit.

Kenny made a decision right there, he couldn’t be trusted anymore, he’d need help from a pro.

He’d tell Bebe and Wendy everything, maybe even Butters too, just--he was being dumb.

It wasn’t  _ seductive _ to run away from a guy like you thought he might actually kill you. That was the opposite of seducive. Unseductive. Inseductive? It was bad. Kenny shook away the thoughts physically, earning a raised eyebrow from Tucker, and tried to focus on the content that the teacher was--

Kenny’s eyes widened in despair at his own stupidity as he took in the clear appearance of his math teacher.

But he had math with Kyle.

Which meant Kyle was in this room.

Which meant Kenny had run away at full speed ot go to  _ the same fucking place _ .

He wanted to throw himself in traffic.

He dared to glance towards the redheads seat, anxiety pumping through his veins at what he might see.

Red.

Huh.

Kenny blinked once, twice, and did a full double take.

Sitting stock still in his chair, staring directly at the teacher with exceptional posture, a somewhat constipated expression, and… wearing Kenny’s scarf.

Kenny couldn’t help it. He laughed. It came out a terrible strangled snorting noise and earned him even more derision from Craig but Kyle didn’t look over.

His cheeks looked a little pinker though.

Okay. Kenny decided he could take that as an apology. It was an effort, he was wearing Kenny’s ‘dumb’ scarf even after all the crap he said yesterday about it and it was clearly something that made him embarrassed.

Kenny felt the remainder of his annoyance over the matter drain away and spent the rest of class fairly openly staring.

Kyle Broflovski might have a fine ass, but his face was quite cute too. Especially with that little cute frown while he tried to look like he was focusing.

It was utterly adorable.

Kenny discretely fumbled with his phone to text Bebe, hoping that the teacher didn’t spot him. This one was a bit of a hard ass about phones.

_ [To: The Babestor _

_ halppp i thin i actually likelike him, emergancy stretegy meeting????] _

It didn’t surprise him at all that she texted back almost immediately, she was inseparable from her phone. Her affirmative emoji’s were also a huge relief and he smiled softly at the text. Having friends to support him in moments of panic was the best thing ever.

When he looked up, Kyle’s eyes were no longer on the board but rather trained on him with a strange expression that looked just a bit hurt.

Kenny cocked his head to one side, about to ask but Kyle’s gaze snapped away.

That was… strange. Kenny chalked it up to a Jersey thing though and began to doodle little hearts on what was supposed to be math notes. It was a safe bet that not a single number touched his page that day.

Kenny decided against making more passes at Kyle until he’d met with his allies though. He wasn’t good at the whole long term making a boy like him thing. Just the short-term ‘wink-wink aren’t I sexy’ crap.

Kyle didn’t seem to want to start a conversation either though, he left the room after class without even an attempt to return the scarf.

Kenny frowned. He thought he’d figured the guy out, at least a little, but he kept being thrown for loops.

“You’re both idiots.” the first bit of kind advice he received rom Wendy as they left the school. The day had been uneventful on the Kyle front but filled to the brim with anxiety. Which was of course why Bebe declared the best solution was for them to all pile into her cute little Honda and spend the night at her place with Britney Spears blaring while they ate cookies and dished. “Complete idiots.”

Bebe didn’t bother coming to his defense, just giggled, but Butters gave him a companionable shoulder pat so that was okay.

“If he doesn’t like you, he should give you a clear answer.” Wendy continued,”And you shouldn’t run away like a goddamn grade schooler. I can’t believe I helped you hide yesterday, Kenny, no, bad.”

“In my defense,” Kenny searched his brain, “I have no defense.”

Bebe snorted, “Solid argument there, baby-face.”

“Well, golly, I think the two of you would make an awfully cute match.” Butters added, unbuckling his seatbelt as they parked. Kenny followed suit with a nod of agreement.

They didn’t even make it inside Bebe’s comfortable two story home before a jingle from Kenny’s phone disrupted everything. At first, he panicked that it might be work, but it wasn’t the right ringtone.

Glancing down he saw a new text from an unknown number.

He choked and damn near dropped his phone at the sight of the contents.

_ “Guys _ !”

Bebe stole his phone without bothering to ask permission, choked as well, and guided them all inside. This required pillows to scream into, which was precisely why she threw one Kenny’s way as soon as the party made it to her room.

“What happened?” Butters asked, bewildered at Kenny’s high pitched sounds being drowned out by fabric.

Bebe tossed him the phone.

[ _ From: Unknown _

_ Hey. This is Kyle. _

_ I got your number from Stan. I wanted to apologize for earlier. I didn’t mean to steal your scarf or to criticize you yesterday. I just don’t understand this stupid fad and it made me angry. _

_ I do think it’s a bit shitty of you to hit on me when you have a girlfriend though. I’ll return your scarf but please refrain from making future passes at me.] _

Butters choked, passing it to the curious Wendy.

“Gosh, Kenny, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend…”

Kenny screamed into the pillow again before coming up for air, looking light headed and lost in one, “Neither did I--wait, why is Wendy typing?”

It was too late to stop her. By the time Kenny took notice she’d apparently already sent a message and handed it primly back to Kenny.

Heart in his throat, Kenny read.

[ _ To: Asshole Playing With Kenny’s Emotions _

_ Look, asshole. That was a shitty apology by any measure. If you want me to even consider forgiving you, it should be in person and without the shitty excuses. Secondly, fuck you for assuming my relationship status. If you think I’m the sort of person to cheat, I don’t really think you’re worth my time.] _

“ _ Wendy _ !” Kenny could cry, the text wasn’t  _ wrong _ and he appreciated her protectiveness but  _ no _ , Kyle was never going ot like him now!

Wendy crossed her arms, “If he gets scared off by you standing up for yourself, it would have been a shit relationship anyway.”

The phone plipped to life and Kenny’s eyes darted to see what was sent. A moment too late, it seemed, because he only read a word before Bebe had plucked it out of his hands.

“Oh my god, Bebe, please no.”

“Bebe, yes!” was all the girl said before she was cheerfully typing away, Kenny dived for the phone but she’d already pressed send by the time he’d tackled her. The phone flew to Butters, vibrating with a new message and blue eyes met blue as Kenny mouthed, “No, Leo,  _ no _ .”

Butters picked up the phone with that chaos loving smile of his and Kenny despaired of ever getting a date.

Resolutely he accepted it from Butters when the boy was done, catching up on whatever he had missed.

[ _ From: Asshole Playing With Kenny’s Emotions _

_ I thought you were dating Bebe? That’s what Stan said.] _

_ [To: Ass-muppet _

_ LMFAO thats a motherfiucki hoot omggggg x’D where the fuck did stan get tat idea omg that bitch doesnt no shit] _

_ [From: Ass-muppet _

_ I would appreciate if you didn’t call my friend a bitch.] _

_ [To: Kyle B _

_ Gosh, Im sorry. I didn’t mean to call him that. I just wanted to tell you I think you’re awfully lovely and it would just be swell if we could go out sometime.] _

Kenny stared in horror. It was everything he could have imagined and worse. The voice plipped again.

[ _ From: Kyle B _

_ Dude. Are you bipolar or something? It feels like I’m talking to four different people. _ ]

Kenny counted the occupants of the room and couldn’t help but congratulate Kyle’s oddly accurate math. He contemplated how to explain the matter and then decided it would be easiest to use a thousand words.

Getting his buddies to pose for a group selfie was less a matter of convincing and more a matter of holding up his phone camera and waiting for them to all dive in like the camera whores they all were.

[ _ To: Kyle B _

_ (attached picture) _

_ theyyy stole my phone TTxTT ] _

The line was quiet for awhile and Kenny dreaded that this explanation wasn’t enough.

Finally, he received a message.

[ _ From: Kyle Butts _

_ Just so I’m clear: you’re not mad about the scarf, you’re not dating Bebe, and you’re still relatively serious about your advancements?] _

Kenny snorted, prompting Bebe to plop her head on his shoulder to read the contents of the message, bringing his thoughts to life effortlessly, “Who the fuck says ‘advancements’ like that, oh my god.”

“ _ Right _ ?” Kenny chortled and couldn’t help the large unhindered grin that split his face.

Kyle was kind of completely adorable.

It was very easy to respond.

_ [To: Kyle Butts _

_ yep, yeah, and yisssssss!!!] _

The response was immediate, but short.

[ _ From: Kyle Butts _

_ Okay. _ ]

Kenny stared, he turned to Bebe for confirmation but she just shrugged. He allowed Butters and Wendy to look it over as well.

The all frowned at the phone in puzzlement.

“What the actual fuck is ‘okay’ supposed to mean?”

“Let’s wait a bit, maybe he’ll explain.”

“Is that ‘ok, I understand’ or ‘ok let’s have the butt sex’?!”

“Golly, maybe he just means that you’re all okay?”

They ate snacks and watched movies and still, the phone remained silent. Kenny groaned and screamed into one of Bebe’s fabulous pillows just one more time.

What the actual fuck.

Kyle Broflovski was one giant butt was their only unanimous decision of the night.


	4. Chapter 4

Kenny tried not to feel anxious walking into the school building. Tried, failed, glanced at his phone for any other texts again, and wished that sleeping on Bebe’s plush carpet hadn’t given him such a crink in the neck.

No signs of Kyle. No glorious butts. No explanatory texts.

Kenny bit his lip, wondering for what felt like the millionth time if he should have shot back a text. What could he answer ‘okay’ with though? What was there to say? What did ‘okay’ even  _ mean _ ?

It would be dumb and lame to text Kyle  _ now _ requesting further clarification and Kenny was not up to being dumb and lame in front of  _ the _ boy.

Nope. No thanks. Not his agenda.

He made it all the way to his first class before he saw the green ushanka that marked  _ the _ boy’s presence but tragically it was just a figure walking past the room in the hallway.

He seriously debated saying screw it to first period and running after him but that would look dumb and desperate.

He was  _ not  _ dumb and desperate.

He reached for his scarf to tug at  _ something _ , remembered it was still being held hostage, frowned and glared glumly at his desk.

Today was going to be the pits if he didn’t figure out what that text meant. Or talk to the boy. Or get out of this very boring class.

Today already sucked and Kenny allowed that particular grouchy outlook to seep into everything.

If the teacher made an unfunny joke it was nails on a chalkboard, if a student coughed it was a bad omen, and obviously if anyone so much as looked at him it was probably in preparation for something awful.

Speaking of looking at him, stupid Stan Marsh was giving him a--

Kenny’s gaze snapped up just as the bell rang and met Stan’s look.

He didn’t hesitate even a moment, lurching forward and grabbing the boy by the shoulders. Sure, they weren’t all that close nowadays, but they’d grown up together. And Stan owed him for the Bebe disaster.

“How the fuck do I read Broflovski?!”

Stan blinked once, twice, let out a truly despairing sigh, and pinched the bridge of his nose with something close to absolute regret on his features.

“I’m not doing this again.”

“ _ Again _ ?! I never even asked once! Explain to me how the hell I am supposed to deal with Jersey boy! What does ‘okay’ even  _ mean _ ?!”

Stan groaned, “No, look, I already did this with Kyle last night. You guys work this out on your own--”

“Worked what out with Kyle?  _ Tell me everything _ .”

Kenny realized, somewhat belatedly, that he hadn’t spoken this aggressively to anyone in… he wasn’t sure he could recall. Also that desperately begging Stan for information was  _ exactly _ the brand of stupid and lame he’d been trying  _ not _ to do.

Still, he allowed his eyes to grow impossibly wide as he gazed into Stan’s own, tilting his head to the side in plea, knowing that this expression made him look completely adorable and no one could resist.

Stan rolled his eyes, “ _ Fine _ , look--”

“...I cannot fucking believe this shit.”

Both Stan and Kenny looked up from what could have been considered an intimate looking pose into the eyes of Kyle, a few other amused students nearby, at the door to the classroom and glaring them both down.

Stan looked from Kyle, to Kenny’s hands still clutching his shoulders, to the lack of personal space between the two of them, and then back to Kyle with utter horror in his eyes, “No, Kyle, it’s not--”

“I’m so done with this.” Kyle turned tale, slamming the classroom door shut and earning them all a glare from the lingering teacher who had been looking through papers at his desk.

Kenny looked to Stan, heart racing at the knowledge that he had somehow, yet again, fucked up, “What the fuck was that?”

Stan ran a hand down his face, eyes clenched shut and frown consuming his expression, “Oh my  _ god _ , I hate you both so much.”

That was all that could be said before the bell rang and Kenny wasn’t able to find either Stan or Kyle for the rest of the day.


	5. Chapter 5

Five days since he’d first laid eyes on Kyle Broflovski and it was a roller coaster of emotion he wasn’t go to deal with anymore.

Nope.

Kenny glared meaningfully at the surface of his beaten old phone, knowledgeable that what he was about to do was  _ dangerous _ .

What was danger in the face of death? Nothing! Everything! Life can get so much worse before it’s over! Kenny was so aware of this that it was actually burned into the phantoim pain of having his arm ripped off.

That was the issue with it all though. He wasn’t a stranger to pain, danger, or even death.

So texting some dumb boy should  _ not _ be the most terrifying thing he’d ever considered in his life time.

‘Okay’ still glared up at him but today was Friday.

If he didn’t solve it now he would have an entirely Kyle-less weekend ahead of him where Kyle was free to come up with all sorts of strange assumptions. It was time to clear the air. Time to make sure he understood what was happening, even in the face of danger, he would not flinch away!

[To: and then there’s this asshole

wat does ok even mean?????]

Kenny bit his lip in terror, awaiting the incoming message with trepidation. He hadn’t even left his home yet, waiting for Karen to finish her morning priming, and now he had to wait for a message from a boy that might not even be up.

Speaking of the arguably unconscious, Kevin drifted past in that sleepwalk state between bed and the mornings first cup of joe, radiating every single energy that said ‘don’t talk to me yet’.

Of course Kenny disregarded those warnings and dove right in, “Kevin, what the fuck does ‘okay’ mean?”

Kevin paused, looked over at him, raised an eyebrow and groaned, “Gonna need way more context than that, half-pint.”

“Like when a chick or dude says it after romantic stuff occurs or doesn’t occur or whatever?”

Kenny could admit that he could use a lesson or two in eloquence.

Kevin shuffled away, that same look of complete loss in his eyes that Stan had given him only a day prior.

His phone plipped.

Kenny damn near dropped the thing, juggling in an unflattering dance before he spied the new message.

[From: and then there’s this asshole

Nothing now. Leave me alone.]

Kenny could have spent time thinking up a good response, a meaningful one, think himself into another hole and be left staring at the screen in despair. Or he could let the impulsive desperation that had ruled over his life with an iron fist this last few days dictate his life.

[To: and then there’s this asshole

BUT WHY?????????]

The response was quick.

[From: and then there’s this asshole

How can you even ask me that?! I saw you and Stan yesterday!]

Kenny attempted the mental gymnastics he would need to understand this, it didn’t work to well while multi-tasking a conversation with his newly arrived sister and heading out the front door, clicking away at his phone.

[To: and then there’s this asshole

im srry I’mnot a mind reeder???? So wat if i was aksing stan for advise?????????? Is that rlly bad?????]

There wasn’t a response for an uncomfortable amount of time. Kenny looked up from his phone and to his sister who was looking at him with judgement in her eyes.

“Oh, not you too.” he moaned, dreading another lecture on his stupidity. Who had even informed his sister? He would bet money it was Leopold. Goddamnit, Butters.

“I’m not saying anything.” she defended with a grin that said more than words often hoped to. “Nothing about how you’re crushing on our new neighbors or how bad you are at it.”

Kenny’s mind did a screeching reverse, something in her sentence building him with terror, “Our what now?”

There was the sound of a door clicking and Kenny felt as though he was in a horror movie looking up to find the ghost hanging over him the whole time.

There was Kyle on the front porch of the home that Kenny wasn’t sure how he had missed the family moving into. He really was working too many hours at City Wok.

He lifted a hand and waved weakly at the boy that was frowning at his phone, then Kenny, then his phone, and back to Kenny. It was one of those fantastic frowns that deepened with each new piece of information added to it and apparently Kenny was informative.

“G’morning?” Kenny tried.  


Kyle stomped over, pocketing his phone and finger at the ready, “I saw you and Stan kissing yesterday! How the hell does that count as asking for advice?”

Karen snorted, Kenny nearly toppled over, but it was mostly due to the force of Kyle’s index finger planted firmly against his chest and the surprising amount of strength behind it.

“But I didn’t kiss Stan yesterday?” Kenny gave it a quick thought. “Or ever, come to think of it?”

“Oh, and I’m sure you and Bebe are really  _ just friends _ even though you spend every waking moment between her tits!” Kyle moved in closer, it would have been exceptionally hot if not for the fire burning underneath the surface, “ _ Admit it _ , you’ve been playing some stupid game with me since day one, you--you  _ player _ !”

Karen’s voice cut into the mayhem, soft enough not to attract anger, but loud enough to be heard and drag Kyle’s burning gaze somewhere else.

“Bebe’s dating Wendy. She’s hella gay.” Karen placed her hands on her hips, “And I don’t know if I should be letting you near my brother if that’s what you think of him. He’s never cheated on anyone in his life and you’re just assuming the worst of him.” Kyle startled when Karen’s own pointer finger hit his chest and Kenny was left bewildered as to how to handle the scene, “Kenny’s an awful lot of things, an idiot for starters, but he’s not a cheater and he’s not a ‘player’, you rude New Jersey  _ jerk _ !”

She whirled around, expertly grabbing her brothers hand and pulling, Kenny didn’t even think to resist her, eyes moving between the two.

Kyle was terrifying when he was angry but he wasn’t sure he’d  _ ever _ seen Karen lose her temper and there was just something inherently dangerous about it. At a loss for anything else, he caught Kyle’s eye and mimed a quick ‘call me’ before entirely succumbing to his baby sisters whim, listening to her continued tirade.

“ _ The nerve of that guy _ !” she hissed, something of her mother's accent coming out in anger “Hasn’t known you more than a few days and  _ already _ he thinks he’s enough of an expert to make those sorts of allegations?! What do you  _ see _ in that creep?!”

The question wasn’t meant to be answered, just a lead in to more of Karen’s rant, but it still struck somewhere in Kenny.

What did he see in the darn Jersey boy that swept into down with a primo ass and no regards for any common manners? Why was he so taken with a guy he’d barely had anything like a conversation with up until now?

He was cute. But that wasn’t it. Butters was cute, Stan was cute, Red was cute.

He was fiery but that wasn’t it. Wendy was fiery as well.

He marched to the beat of his own drum and while it was somewhat unique it wasn’t  _ it _ .

What was  _ it _ that made him fall all over himself in a ridiculous attempt to woo this boy?

Kenny reached down and turned off his phone. Maybe it was a good idea to let the day go by without incident. Actually study for the first time this week. Take the time by himself instead of being dragged around by avalanche Broflovski.

And Karen  _ was _ right. He was a seriously rude guy.

Kenny kind of liked his brand of rude though. He pocketed the phone and waved goodbye to his sister at the entrance to her school before heading to his own.

He was rude but there was something so  _ sincere _ about it. And honesty that made Kenny want to be honest. Dangerously so.

It was always one of them running and the other chasing, like a ridiculous game that neither one of them wanted to be playing.

He needed to screw up his courage and be brave. Not run or hide but just be simple and honest Kenny. Besides, apparently hiding in Bebe’s cleavage had caused more problems than it solved.

He looked up from his contemplations into a pair of headlights.


	6. Chapter 6

Kenny awoke feeling morose.

There was yelling from the other room and the usual creek of floorboards that hadn’t been anything approaching quiet in his lifetime.

He felt the familiar tremor of anxiety about it all. It was always there. To interfere or to steer clear. To lead a quiet life or solve the issues that he should.

He stared at his ceiling.

He probably had work today, he should check his schedule and make sure.

He would certainly have to drag himself out of bed sometime in the next century. He tried to make out patterns in the ceiling instead. One almost looked like a turtle. He liked turtles.

It was frequently like this, he’d make up his mind about something or almost feel good about a decision, or feel he’d really taken his life in his own hands, and then whatever sick creature that dictated the narrative of his life would decide ‘this chapter is too boring, we can’t have that’ and then it would be anything. Anything that could be imagined.

Maybe a truck, like yesterday, maybe a giant bloodthirsty rooster. Did it matter?

It didn’t matter and the learned helplessness inside of him begged to allow a rest for the day. Ignore the calls of the world and let it all pass overhead.

In a matter of days he’d felt like he’d been under a spell, like in some teen romance where it was possible for a happy ending, and waking up in his bed woke him up from more than just the dreamless and restless horrors of the afterlife.

He honestly didn’t have the faintest idea if he was really waking up on Saturday morning like he’d assumed. It could have been weeks, months, once he’d been gone a full year. And the after life wasn’t any help, memories from beyond the grave were normally a bit muzzy but even if they were clear as day, it wouldn’t fix that time worked differently between dimensions.

He should get out of bed, find a calendar and a clock, work out his schedule for the day, and begin like nothing had changed. Because, ultimately, nothing had changed.

Meeting some adorable spitfire babe from Jersey wasn’t going to change his life.

Continuing to work hard every day through the crippling knowledge that none of it mattered would help either.

Nothing could help, nothing could save him, and none of it mattered.

So, Kenny did the only thing he could and swung his legs over the edge of the bed to prepare for the day on autopilot.

His actions didn’t matter, he knew, but he was able to sleep better at night knowing he did everything he could. And if that was the only reprieve he got from misery, so be it.

It wasn’t quite morning according to the first clock he saw claiming to be early afternoon but it was at the very least the day it should be.

And yes, his schedule did tell him that he had to be at City Wok in less than an hour. It wasn’t too far a walk, but he’d jog anyway, sure to speed past the house containing the new problem.

Why had it mattered so much to him earlier in the week? To catch the attention of some ridiculous boy that Karen didn’t even approve of?

Bastard still had his scarf too.

Kenny burst into his workplace to the worst possible scene.

There were customers. There were familiar customers.

Apparently there was no point in running past the Broflovski house.

Kenny wasn’t in the mood though. By the time Kyle and Stan looked up from whatever they had been discussing so intently on the rickety table belonging to the shitty establishment, Kenny was already making his way to the back to put on his uniform.

He didn’t feel the happy little trepidation he’d felt all week. None of the little elations that made Kyle so irresistible. It must have been infatuation then, he reasoned, if he was over it completely with just a single death.

“Mr. Liu Kim, can I work the fryer today?”

His boss shrugged, “Whatever you want, Dennis.” and moved on with whatever he did when he wasn’t bossing his under aged employees around.

Kenny had been there awhile though, he could request things like working in the back for an afternoon. He didn’t care about the Kyle situation, not at all, but he also didn’t want to deal with it.

He didn’t want to deal with any of it.

The deep fryer sizzled in front of him, shitty chicken crisping up into their gut-churning and heart clogging grease threshold and Kenny tried to understand why he was here.

It was important he didn’t miss work when he could go considering all the times he couldn’t.

But why should he care? What did it matter?

It didn’t matter.

He didn’t matter.

“Dennis, a customer wants to talk to you.” Mr. Liu Kim’s call sounded just a touch annoyed and Kenny passed his task off to another part-timer before making his way out front.

He could guess. He guessed correctly.

There was Kyle, standing in front of the register looking sheepish and Kenny felt a spark of something rekindle before he stamped it down vehemently.

He let autopilot do the talking.

“Welcome to Shitty Wok, may I take your order please?”

“Um… I already ordered…” Kyle gestured vaguely at the food sitting on the table he’d abandoned Stan at. Stan waved. Kenny didn’t wave back.

“How may I help you then, sir?”

Kyle actually flinched back a bit and Kenny felt a wave of guilt soak him to the bone. He wasn’t good at being mean, not when people seemed relatively apologetic, “Look, I’m sorry to just bother you at work, but I figured it was better than showing up at your house and, god, that sounds creepy, I only know where you live because we’re pretty much neighbors okay? But you didn’t come to school yesterday and I realized I’ve been a giant asshole and--”

Kenny cut in, the earnest little tics to Kyle’s speech, the way he rambled, all of it was terribly sweet and reminded him exactly why he found the boy charming.

There was something he couldn’t predict and couldn’t control and it was fascinating.

But that was the problem.

Kenny didn’t get romance. His mind flickered back to the sizzles of the deep fryer. He knew what would happen in this scene. They’d clear up all misunderstandings, judging from the way Kyle’s face tinted pink, it would lead to the happy beginning of a happy relationship.

Except it wouldn’t. They would do all those steps, but within five minutes it would be Kenny in that deep fryer, boiling alive in oil. And then knowing his luck the way that the universe rearranged Kyle’s memories would be in such a way that caused further stress and misunderstanding and really?

Kenny didn’t want to be boiled alive today.

He made the decision on a blind impulse. Defiance against the pain in his gut and the dance of his heart and the way destiny played with his fate like an instrument.

“Don’t be sorry. You were right.”

“...what?”

“Me and Bebe are secretly dating.” he mentally apologized to Bebe for the stupid fib, “I wanted you to be my beard. My sister hates you though so I think it’s a bad idea after all. So, if you don’t want any of our shitty chicken, I recommend you go back to your table with Stan.”

“Wait--what?”

Kenny ignored him and ducked back into the kitchen, making sure he was out of sight before he sunk to the floor and hated himself.

He tried to live a life that he approved of, at the least, because he was the one that would be trapped living it for the next probably eternity.

But that hadn’t been a decision he approved of. It was dumb. Impulsive. Grouchy.

He was grouchy and gloomy and he didn’t want to be at work at all.

“Are you okay, Dennis? Do you want me to kick them out?”

He swallowed, standing and keeping his eyes focused on the boiling oil that he almost wished would consume him, if only to reset this horrible situation.

“No.” he pushed his body past the pain, lethargia, and hopeless depression. A marionette on strings that danced to the whims of society, “I’m fine. I’d like to work in the back today, please.”

Mr. Liu Kim nodded blankly, a flicker of concern in his usually apathy. He didn’t complain about Kenny working late either, making sure he was the last one out and ensuring that no one would see him or talk to him.

He was being stupid. Bebe and Wendy were going to be disappointed in him. Butters was going to frown at him.

Kyle would avoid him though and that was for the best.

A knot twisted in Kenny’s stomach as he trudged home, eyes stinging faintly.

It was for the best.


	7. Chapter 7

_ “Kenny, why the hell did Stan call me to ask why I’m Bebe’s beard?” _

Kenny regretted answering the phone instantly. Wendy did not sound pleased.

“Would you believe it’s because I’m an idiot?”

_ “Very easily.” _

“With friends like these…” Kenny grumbled into his pillow, phone falling ajar. He could still hear if she said something but holding the device sounded like far too much trouble.

_ “Are you okay?” _ Wendy’s voice was uncharacteristically concerned and Kenny wondered exactly how off he sounded that everyone seemed to be asking him that.

“Less okay knowing that tomorrow is Monday.” he grumbled, “I had a bad day yesterday… and then I took it out on myself?”

_ “And Kyle.” _ she added and he rolled over to stare at the ceiling. The turtle from yesterday looked more like a dinosaur today.

“To be fair, it’s not like he would be all that interested to begin with. Or if he was interested it was probably just some brief silly infatuation. He’ll get over it and find someone better.”

Wendy was silent for a moment, it was a long and painful one where Kenny hadn’t the faintest clue what she was thinking. He thought better of filling the silence with inane chatter though, he wasn’t all that good at that anyway.

When Wendy spoke up, it was following a long and insulting sigh that spoke of too much frustration.

_ “Kenny, stop being an emo bitch.” _

“I am no--” Kenny thought it over, “Am I?”

He could  _ hear _ her eye rolling,  _ “Yes.” _

“Shit.” he covered his face, hiding from the empty room if nothing else, “Well, sucks I figured that out a bit too late… I think I already screwed up too much. I mean, yeah, this has been a train wreck since day one. This week sucks.”

_ “Kenny, look, I really don’t care if you and the new guy get together or not. What pisses me off is your attitude about this, you’ve been actively shooting yourself in the foot this entire damn time and it’s painful to watch. Look, go apologize for being an asshole. He’s also been an asshole. And if he doesn’t forgive you, he’s not worth your time. But you should woman the fuck up and stop being such an immature twat about this.” _

Wendy really had a way with words.

Kenny didn’t really care for being lectured but he still quirked up a smile at the sentiment. She didn’t want him carrying a load of regret with him forever.

He didn’t want that either.

“Okay.”

It was easy enough to plan from there. Just knock on the Broflovski door, apologize for yesterday, and walk away. He most definitely wasn’t going to get the guy or anything, but that wasn’t the point anymore.

He hoped.

He didn’t know.

He hesitated at the front door, the previous series of absolute disastrous attempts at communication flashing through his mind.

He turned around, found his backpack and dug through it for some loose leaf paper and a pencil. He found a pen and the back of math homework he never turned in. Good enough.

It was oddly easy to write. Words that were so hard to express verbally, apologies and explanations. It made Kenny realize exactly how much he had to express. By the time he’d run out of paper, he still wanted to say more.

He signed it instead. Looking up he saw Kevin giving him a teasing grin, “A love letter, really?”

Kenny colored, “It’s not a love letter… just a letter explaining some stuff and some other stuff and--okay, lay off, dude.”

Kevin chuckled, ruffling Kenny’s hair and leaving for the kitchen, “G’luck, lil dude.”

It was strange. A lot of the anxieties melted away at the encouragement and Kenny wondered exactly how weak he was to even the slightest support.

Or maybe it was just nice to see Kevin neither hungover or drunk, acting like an older brother.

He shrugged out of the house and found himself at the Broflovski doorstep too quickly.

The reassurance he’d received faded and the anxiety returned full force when a large red-headed woman opened the door, “Can I help you?”

“Is Kyle home...? I have something for him.” he shifted uncomfortably, debating just handing her the note but dreading her reaction if she read it.

“Oh, he’s upstairs with his new friend Stanley.” she turned to the staircase with a wide smile, “ _ Bubbie _ , your friend is here!”

There was the sound of footsteps and confusion before Kyle peeked down, blanched, and ran away.

The mother blinked, “Kyle?” she turned to Kenny with an apologetic smile, “I don’t know what’s gotten into that boy.”

No sooner had she said this then Kyle had rushed down the stairs, this time with his jacket and carrying something.

“I’m going out, ma! I’ll be back soon!”

Kenny noted that he spoke with a bit of an accent to his mom. Cute. He didn’t have much time though, Kyle was tugging him away from the door.

Why was he in such a rush? Did he not want his parents to see him?

Kenny tried to remember when he’d last laundered his dirty parka and found he couldn’t really blame the guy… but he still felt a bit hurt at the sentiment.

“Where are we going?” he thought for a second, “Did you leave Stan in your room?”

Kyle shrugged, turning around as soon as they were out of eyesight of his house, pushing an envelope at Kenny.

He blinked, “What’s this?”

Kyle looked away, “I keep fucking up when I try to talk to you, so I thought this would be easier.” his voice sounded terse, tense, nervous, Kenny felt a fluttering in his stomach and he accepted the oddly heavy envelope, replacing it with the scrabble on his math homework.

Large green eyes blinked owlishly at him.

Kenny shrugged with a grin, “Great minds think alike, dude.” he looked at the envelope, “Can I…?”

Kyle nodded, eyes shooting down to his own paper.

Kenny tried not to look too eager when he opened the envelope, he couldn’t quite hold in his surprise that there was more than one page inside, “Holyshit.”

Kyle colored and looked down at the math homework.

That was cue enough for Kenny.

_ Dear Kenny McCormick, _

_ I’m sorry for my behavior these last few days. I understand why you’re mad, I would be too, but I wanted to explain-- _

The beginning was predictable, apologies, explanations that Kenny had already guessed, it made his heart sink. This was going to be an essay long explanation as to why this wouldn’t work.

It was only when he got to the third paragraph that the world seemed to freeze.

_ I wanted to tell you I think you’re beautiful. I did from the first time I saw you but I was so convinced you wouldn’t be asking me out unless it was some weird prank that I freaked out. I’m sorry. I freaked out a lot. I really like your confidence and-- _

Kenny wasn’t sure if he could read any further, he was somewhere between the desire to jump in the air whooping like crazy or faint.

His eyes darted along the page barely taking anything in and stomach doing an uncomfortably enthusiastic tap dance at every new piece of information.

_ \--I know I fucked up a lot, and you have to admit some stuff was a bit misleading, but I can’t help but find you fascinating. I’ve never met anyone quite like you, you shine like _ \--

Holyshit.

This was an actual love letter.

An  _ actual _ love letter. Like actually poetic and shit. Not anything like the mussed up explanations of Kenny’s feelings he’d scribbled on some fucking homework. Kenny couldn’t read anymore, eyes shooting up to look at the ridiculous boy that had written him a  _ love letter _ .

Kyle’s own eyes looked up from Kenny’s now mortifyingly badly done paper but they were full of emotion and Kenny’s heart stopped.

It would be hard for Kenny to say who closed the distance, he wasn’t sure he knew how to stand straight at the moment, much less if he was sure about the order of any given course of events.

But there were warm lips covering his own with an insistent passion that bubbled up in his own body as well and he found himself completely wrapped up in a ridiculously loud boy, who liked to jump to conclusions, didn’t take shit from anyone, had an amazing butt, and wrote honest to god love letters.

Kenny smiled against the lips and wrapped his arms around, unwilling to let go of the moment.

It had been one fucking hell of a week.


End file.
